Confused

What would it be like if humans are more simple-minded? Perhaps intelligence is the biggest bane of all? Maybe the world as we know it and live in is just an illusion? Possibly all that we see, smell, hear, and feel is just a massive dream?

Could it be that, nothing really matters?

I don't know.

I'm still dreaming, running, chasing after all that little spots of light in this foggy cave.

Will I get there?





Or will they get me?

Blur queen

My manager can be really blur at times. Scaringly blur.

She was giving me a ride home earlier after a coaching session at AMK. Having stopped at a traffic junction, she inexplicably started moving off even though the lights were still red. And she wasn't trying to beat the red light - she drove across the junction at not more than 30km/hr!

Apparently, she thought the light had turned green. I thought she was possessed. The other drivers at the junction probably thought she was mad. The way she drove across, you would think the road was owned by her grandpa. Thankfully there were no cars driving in the perpendicular passageways.

Her other blur moments - such as fixing appointments at the same time, same day; forgetting to inform us of important news - seem so trivial in comparison.

Did she extend her 'license to be blur' without informing us?

I would not be surprised.

P.S. My manager is a very nice lady. Her occasional inexplicable acts and amnesia is probably the result of a tired brain.

13/07/07

Friday the 13th was a very memorable day.

It was the first time I see so much smoke in my house. The neighbours probably thought my house was on fire.

It was also the first time I see charred baos.

Basically, I set the oven for three minutes when one minute would have suffice, according to mum. The two buns were still simmering when I opened the oven door. And the smoke would continue to permeate the house for the rest of the day and the next.

I was only partially successful in removing the stubborn stains that had resulted from the catastrophy. The interiors of the microwave oven remained yellowish despite half an hour of wiping with detergent.

And to think I was the one who taught mum how to use the microwave - through my own understanding of the icons since the manual was not very helpful.

Friday the 13th was a very memorable day.

I'm Back!

Wow! I had so much fun! Peiling should have joined Jack Neo's J-Team. She could be the queen of humour in Singapore with her super comedic performance in the skit. Ren Cheng's turn as Michelle the sister with the split personality was hilarious as well, not due to the acting but more because of the overall appearance and unintended wardrobe malfunction. Haha! What a night, and how close we were from a prize - only 8 points away from 3rd place...

Food wasn't always up to expectation. While it was satisfactory or better on most occasions, lunch never fail to disappoint. Thankfully, there's always fresh, juicy fruits (watermelon, pineapple, honeydew) and cakes to fall back on. Lunch on Day 2 was the worse; the baffling thing was how they served crispy fried chicken wings for afternoon tea break. I thought if they had served that earlier, I would have eaten more at lunch...

Gillain is such an amazing lady. She must be incredibly motivated to be able to maintain such high standards for so many years. Compared to her performance, my targets seemed like a joke. Still, as Sherlyn says, I'm just putting unnecessary pressure on myself with such unrealistic comparisons. Afterall, she's very experienced and I've just started not long ago. I guess everyone's got his own race to run, and we should concentrate on completing it. When others run a better race than us, we should congratulate them and carry on our own race. We should not be discouraged by our relative lack of achievement and give up. Everyone has different abilities and what is most important is that we put in full effort in achieving our own goals. I wonder if I can reach my goal?

Ren Cheng surprised me when he mentioned about his family problems. It seems like many of the people in the organisation came from broken families. I feel so fortunate to still have my parents around. It's a blessing.

Marriage

Hmmm... Just found out ZH is married. While still in uni. And he's only 23. Wow...

It must be cool to introduce your wife to your friends in school.

Makes me wonder how old I'll be when I get married. If I get married. I've been single all my life and I've never really felt uncomfortable about it. There have been times when I've been filled with envy looking at loving couples, but I never really felt the urge to find a girlfriend. I prefer to have things happen naturally, and besides, I'm not financially ready for such commitments.

But sometimes I do wonder whether I've been true to myself. Perhaps my financial status is just an excuse. Perhaps I'm just too indecisive. Or too shy. Or a commitment-phobe.

I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm just so unsure of myself now, what I really want to do, that I avoid pondering things that would add to my confusion.

Perhaps, perhaps...

Perhaps one day I would be there. I could volunteer at the old folks' home one day, play chess the other, and crap along with friends, old and new, the other days. I would have the ideal wife, a companion who would share all my joys, everyday. I've applied for a ticket to Utopia, but when would I have the wealth to travel there? Perhaps I should wake up first and think about it another day...

A great week ahead?

A weekend of welcomed rest, free from work.
Frustrations from knowing that the end of the week is here, that I have once again performed below expectations.
Apprehension at having to present lacklustre results and having to hear of impressive performances by others.
Excitement at the prospect of going to an exciting (that's what they all say) event, the same dreaded event mentioned above.
A better week ahead?

I WANT MY REIMBURSEMENT !!!

Perhaps the goal-setting session would provide the spark I need.

To Batam. To success.

Is my degree recognised?

Just read the latest entry on Wei Ren's blog(OK... So it has been there for a few days already...). I agree with most of his points regarding my UOL degree, but I believe a 2nd upper or 1st class honours degree from the UOL-external programme is worth more than he suggested. From what I've heard, a 2nd upper or 1st class degree gives a reasonable chance of getting into an MNC against competition from NUS, NTU and SMU graduates with relevant degrees, while the civil service tends to prefer graduates from the three local universities. Well, it's all talk from the grapevine, and I can only hope my sources are reliable. Haha... In any case, it's not that relevant in my current job, and if I stay at it (hopefully), I won't have to worry about the recognition given to my degree.

Of course that does not mean I can slack and be satisfied with a 3rd class or 2nd lower. In fact, I'm looking forward to the new term.

Hopefully by that time, I would have decided whether to disrupt from my NS liabilities. What a bother!