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Another quarrel today. First he claimed he reply when he did not. Then when I point it out to him, he says he did not see the need to reply because what I asked did not make sense. Wow. If asking whether he wants to work the next day does not make sense, I do not know what does.He proceeded to point out how it is not right of me to ask why he did not reply, linking to lots of other stuff, many grand theories and reasoning. There was hardly any regard (if fact, none at all) to my request for him to inform should he be leaving his computer for a nap while we are chatting so that I do not end up 'talking' to empty space - and also to ensure that I get my message across to him, and not end up lost in his computer's memory. Now it's MY fault!?!Finally, after going in circles for eternity, he got to his point, which is that all his actions, even those seemingly negative ones, are intentionally designed to help me correct my flaws. Wow. Well, it's hard to believe this is the real reason given how he kept changing his statement, especially how it seems such an elaborate plan. One that has supposedly been active for months. Well, I will trust him this time. I will change for the better. Hopefully, the nonsense from him will stop too, if indeed they were intended to make me change.:-)
Humans are such complex creatures. It's so hard to understand what others are thinking...
Why would he want to intentionally say something that he knows will hurt me? And what right does he have to be upset with me for being unhappy after that? And yet he insists it's my fault?
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Why bother apologising if you think you are right? How do I accept an apology that is followed by continued insistence that I am in the wrong?
And now I spoil your mood because you disappointed me first?
Carry on being an obstinate Mr Right if you want. I shall try to be as quiet as possible in future. I think you would prefer it that way since you like to keep to yourself so much. In that way, we can also minimise all this unnecessary quarrels.
In any case, I'm tired of being wrong 99% of the time. You can save your double standards for people who don't care.
Disappointed and hurt.
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I miss my primary school friends...
(Now, which girl is willing to help me heal my soul?)
Lunch at Waraku restaurant at Central Shopping Mall at around 3pm. Followed by a Giant Earthquake at Swenson's, shared by five people. And that was at 5:30pm. Finally, buffet dinner at Furama Hotel at 7:30pm.I feel like a pig. I am born to eat.And eat.And eat.My first ever eating marathon.Anyone wants to sponsor my second?
Woah! I knew I hadn't blogged in a long while (of course!), but I did not realise it was THIS long until I logged in today... I had thought my last entry was sometime in November. Anyway, in the midst of this hiatus, life has gone on of course, including an In-Camp-Training(ICT) aka reservist in end November. This has got to be one of the slackest high key ICT anyone can have, with only two major activities - combat shoot and IPPT, although there's a tough three weeks ICT for next year with our involvement in SAF Day. Sigh... Anyway, I was glad that I managed to achieve silver for my ICT IPPT. Thanks to that glorious morning, I am thus spared remedial training (RT), and was given some spare cash (read: incentive for silver award) to tide over the festive season!Lady Luck has been avoiding me in normal life though... Production has been pretty stagnant and some 'good' prospects seem to be avoiding me for no apparent reason. Somehow, road shows seemed to have lost much effectiveness as a working model... Haiz... Singporeans have wised up to our prospecting methods. What else can we try?It's the rainy season again. And I'm no fan of rains (Or Rain for that matter) . Unless the rain falls at night, while I am in dreamland. A shower has the miraculous ability to spoil one's mood for the outdoors, or simply moving out of the door. It is so troublesome to have to walk around with an umbrella, and I certainly do not fancy myself walking around soaking wet. Neither do I enjoy working when it is raining, with water splashing onto our stuff from everywhere, or even leaking from the ceiling... Indeed, home is the best place to be when it is raining.
The mouth can be such a lethal weapon.Sometimes, words can deal more harm than knives and guns. We should all be careful with what we say. Especially with people we are close to, as the closeness may cause us to let our guard down and say things without thinking through... I hurt a friend today. Hope I can be more mindful of my words next time.
There's been so much going on in the past weeks... There were a few times when I wanted to get down to blogging, but my mood was fluctuating so much that I just could not find the conviction to get down to task. I hate the disorder in my life now - my thoughts and actions are so incoherent now, I hardly know where I am heading. And it was only not so long ago when I thought I was finally going to re-establish some control over myself. Nevertheless, I am grateful to have RC with me through all the turbulence. But there's still a long way to go...Just found out that Tracy has left. It was a huge shock, and now I have one less friend in the company. Apart from the occasional crap, she is actually a very nice person to talk to. Not that I mind her crap since it helps to liven up the place. Hope she can find a good job soon.I'm still feeling very perturbed... Shall try to blog again when my thoughts are clearer.
Pardon me if I sound stupid. I can't help it - I've just lost four 'elements' of wisdom. This should explain for the rather long and monotonous entry here...The journey towards the reduction of my wisdom actually began last night. I had to fast from midnight onwards - no food, no drinks (no, not even plain water). Went to bed around 12:30, but took quite a while to fall asleep as I tried to clear the numerous thoughts and worries that have been entrenched in my mind. Woke up at seven plus to prepare for my appointment at 0915hrs. Reached there faster than expected, at 9am. I was told to change into into this patient gown which consisted of a huge draw-string pants and a cavernous shirt that threatened to swallow me whole. Nurse A says it is worn like a kimono. Perhaps...but it sure does not look like one. Anyway, having changed into the appropriate attire, I was assigned a bed, and that was where I would spend the next three and a half hours as I entered Phase 1 of the surgery - The Long Wait. I managed to get about two hours and a few bits of sleep, sandwiched between watching Nurse B pottering around doing her chores, and reading half of a Men's Health magazine. I could be mistaken, but I thought I saw some spider web between my toes when Nurse A finally came over around 1235 and told me that it was going to be my turn. She proceeded to spray this acrid fluid into my nostrils, which I then had to swallow. Yucks! It took another 15 minutes before I was allowed into the surgery room for Phase 2 - The Surgery (of course!). The female anaesthetist asked a number of questions regarding myself as she prepared to administer general anaethesia. Perhaps she was trying to help me to relax, but she was not very successful as she sounded very unsincere. Not that it matters since I was only a little nervous. Nurse C proceeded to cover my nose and mouth with an oxygen mask and instructed me to inhale deeply. I drifted out of consciousness shortly after...It was close to 3pm when I was woken up by Nurse A. Apart from aches in the areas where the teeth had been extracted, I also experienced numbness in the lower jaw. Nurse A helped me to change my blood-soaked cotton gauze and gave me a cup of Ribena. I was asked if I was suffering from any of the common after-effects: headache, giddiness, nauseousness, sore throat. Apart from some slight drowsiness, I felt OK. I was then told to rest further in this Phase 3 - Post Surgery Rest. I did not sleep much as I had already slept quite a lot earlier and did not feel tired. In fact, I was actually more hungry then tired. My senses were totally alert as I watch and hear the nurses engaged in their activities - calling people to inform them their reporting time for tomorrow, tending to other patients...I was finally freed around 5pm after the surgeon ascertained that I was fit to go. It had been over 20 hours since I last ate anything! I felt a little hungry but did not have the appetite though. Still I had to consume some food before I could consume my antibiotics. Thus I had my first meal of the day at 5:45pm when I drank the porridge mum had cooked in the morning. I also swallowed some blood.Now I feel like a dumb vampire.
