Stressed... -_-'"

Work has been very much on my mind recently. Actually, I've been thinking a lot about my where I'm heading since October, but something RC said recently has brought more urgency to the issue. It has caused me much confusion and anxiety and I feel so lost now. Coupled with my other commitments, i am now feeling very stressful and finding it hard to focus on my priority at hand.

It's a good thing CNY is approaching. Although I doubt that there will be a simple resolution to my issues at the end of this festive period, I can at least get a brief respite (hopefully) from those frustrating thoughts.

If only life can be more straightforward.

Perhaps I should have been more stubborn.

I could have enjoyed the comforts.

I was never really keen about it in the first place.

Dilemma.

Shopping for CNY!

This has got to be the first time I spend over $250 on shopping for CNY apparels, capped off by a pair of FCUK jeans that set me back by $149! I would never have bought it if I were not shopping with RC. Heck! I would not even have seen it since I've never shopped in FCUK boutiques before. I really loved it, but I could have saved around $60 getting another pair of jeans we saw at Topshop, which, admittedly, was a shade inferior in quality and design. My mum could not believe her ears when I told her the price. Afterall, I was never known to spend above $100 on a single piece of clothing, and I had always avoided branded goods. Well... I suppose I have to spend a LITTLE bit more if I want to look better...

That pair of jeans was really damaging to my wallet and heavily reduced my budget for other items. Of course, that did not mean that I satisfy myself with Giordano plain polo tees and Bata school shoes. RC would have given me a tight slap if I even entertained that thought - not that I would consider that option. I do not wish to end up looking like a dork with a $149 jeans and a T-shirt, shoes and belt adding up to $50. Besides, I had already revised my budget upwards after seeing the price tags on those nice clothes. Still, there were times when I felt like strangling RC for his continual introduction of clothes above my budget and preaching to me the merits of buying better clothes. As I've told him numerous times, there's no way I will pay in excess of $100 for a belt that has a similar design in many other shops, available at $50-$60. I did succumbed to a pair of white Lacoste canvas shoe that cost at least double of lesser brands even with the discount. RC convinced me the crocodiles were worth the extra cash. And the quality too.

I still have a belt and a nice Espirit polo tee to purchase to complete my shopping for this CNY...

Wow... I'm so excited about this CNY. Can't wait to get hong pows to cover my 'losses'.

(P.S. Oh dear... I feel so 'auntie'...)

Thanks for the compliments!

I usually go to school in T-shirt or polo tee with jeans. Today, I decided to wear something different for a change and went in long sleeve shirt with jeans instead. I was pleasantly surprised by all the positive comments.

SG, "Eh, I didn't recognise you...cause you're not wearing red today...and your hair is styled differently right?"

Marc, "Wow! Where are you going later? Dressed so sharply today!"

Hmm... Was my dressing really bad previously or do I just look much better today? Or perhaps they were just surprised by the change in style? Anyway, it was not my first time dressed in this way (first time in school though), and it definitely would not be the last.

To all those who think I have poor fashion sense: I do know how to appreciate good fashion OK! What I lack is the financial means for a complete wardrobe overhaul to clear my old, ill-fitting clothes. Until I am financially stable, I will have to continue wearing them while I gradually improve my collection.

In line for improvement!

Another quarrel today.

First he claimed he reply when he did not. Then when I point it out to him, he says he did not see the need to reply because what I asked did not make sense. Wow. If asking whether he wants to work the next day does not make sense, I do not know what does.

He proceeded to point out how it is not right of me to ask why he did not reply, linking to lots of other stuff, many grand theories and reasoning. There was hardly any regard (if fact, none at all) to my request for him to inform should he be leaving his computer for a nap while we are chatting so that I do not end up 'talking' to empty space - and also to ensure that I get my message across to him, and not end up lost in his computer's memory. Now it's MY fault!?!

Finally, after going in circles for eternity, he got to his point, which is that all his actions, even those seemingly negative ones, are intentionally designed to help me correct my flaws. Wow. Well, it's hard to believe this is the real reason given how he kept changing his statement, especially how it seems such an elaborate plan. One that has supposedly been active for months.

Well, I will trust him this time. I will change for the better. Hopefully, the nonsense from him will stop too, if indeed they were intended to make me change.

:-)

My fault again?!

Humans are such complex creatures. It's so hard to understand what others are thinking...

Why would he want to intentionally say something that he knows will hurt me? And what right does he have to be upset with me for being unhappy after that? And yet he insists it's my fault?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why bother apologising if you think you are right? How do I accept an apology that is followed by continued insistence that I am in the wrong?

And now I spoil your mood because you disappointed me first?

Carry on being an obstinate Mr Right if you want. I shall try to be as quiet as possible in future. I think you would prefer it that way since you like to keep to yourself so much. In that way, we can also minimise all this unnecessary quarrels.

In any case, I'm tired of being wrong 99% of the time. You can save your double standards for people who don't care.

Disappointed and hurt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I miss my primary school friends...

(Now, which girl is willing to help me heal my soul?)

Pig out!

Lunch at Waraku restaurant at Central Shopping Mall at around 3pm. Followed by a Giant Earthquake at Swenson's, shared by five people. And that was at 5:30pm. Finally, buffet dinner at Furama Hotel at 7:30pm.

I feel like a pig.

I am born to eat.

And eat.

And eat.

My first ever eating marathon.

Anyone wants to sponsor my second?

Anyone missed me??

Woah! I knew I hadn't blogged in a long while (of course!), but I did not realise it was THIS long until I logged in today... I had thought my last entry was sometime in November.

Anyway, in the midst of this hiatus, life has gone on of course, including an In-Camp-Training(ICT) aka reservist in end November. This has got to be one of the slackest high key ICT anyone can have, with only two major activities - combat shoot and IPPT, although there's a tough three weeks ICT for next year with our involvement in SAF Day. Sigh... Anyway, I was glad that I managed to achieve silver for my ICT IPPT. Thanks to that glorious morning, I am thus spared remedial training (RT), and was given some spare cash (read: incentive for silver award) to tide over the festive season!

Lady Luck has been avoiding me in normal life though... Production has been pretty stagnant and some 'good' prospects seem to be avoiding me for no apparent reason. Somehow, road shows seemed to have lost much effectiveness as a working model... Haiz... Singporeans have wised up to our prospecting methods. What else can we try?

It's the rainy season again. And I'm no fan of rains (Or Rain for that matter) . Unless the rain falls at night, while I am in dreamland. A shower has the miraculous ability to spoil one's mood for the outdoors, or simply moving out of the door. It is so troublesome to have to walk around with an umbrella, and I certainly do not fancy myself walking around soaking wet. Neither do I enjoy working when it is raining, with water splashing onto our stuff from everywhere, or even leaking from the ceiling... Indeed, home is the best place to be when it is raining.